Guilt is a huge theme in O'Brien's novel. Almost every one of his stories deals with guilt as a motivating factor, time-stopping demon, etc. We are first really introduced to guilt in "On the Rainy River". O'Brien receives his draft notice and contemplates going to Canada. But as he is just a few feet away from the Canadian border on a small boat, the guilt of abandoning his duty, coupled with his visions of everyone he knows staring at him and expecting him not to abandon his country, stops him. He says, "All those eyes on me- the town, the whole universe- and I couldn't risk the embarrassment... And right then I submitted" (57). O'Brien was both guilted by the expectations of his hometown (and of figures in American history like Abraham Lincoln and LBJ) and his own feelings of guilt. Just a young man, O'Brien had to struggle with having to abandon his dreams momentarily to fight a war he didn't believe in.
Another chapter focused on guilt is "The Man I Killed". O'Brien kills a Vietnamese soldier who popped up in front of his platoon. Immediately struck with guilt of having killed this man, O'Brien's guilt creates an intriguing chapter. This scene, in real life, took only a matter of minutes, but O'Brien spins out this tale. He tells us of the man's life before he became a soldier, his dreams and aspirations. He characterizes this man and gives him a back story as well as he does for the men in his platoon. O'Brien focuses on the smallest details of the dead man like where his shoes lie on the ground and the "star-shaped hole" where one of his eyes used to be. As Kiowa talks to O'Brien and attempts to calm him, O'Brien's writing gets more in depth. What started as a star-shaped hole now morphs into a larger description. "The star-shaped hole was red and yellow. The yellow part seemed to be getting wider, spreading out at the center of the star" (120). O'Brien's guilt drives him to identify the smallest features of the dead man. He makes the man out to be a man he's known all his life. The guilt of taking another man's life was nothing O'Brien could have prepared for. When it happens, it consumes him and he turns inward to reflect on what the man could have become. In a sense it is a fear O'Brien (and probably every man in the war) has. If they die, their story will never be told.
The amount of details he remembered about the dead man was unsettling, but I'm not at all surprised. It must be seared into his mind. He references the man he killed several times before getting to the actual story - it's always on his mind.
ReplyDeleteI also found it interesting that he never once responded to Kiowa - he had no words, but at the same time had a million words. For us as readers, at least. Guilt and embarrassment play huge roles in his wartime experience.